Based in Frome, somerset, #fitMess is a blog by Joanna Beale. Her posts draw on her work as a personal trainer, as well as her own personal past experience of significant obesity.  Her general focus is overall wellness and body positivity.

2 for 1

I'm so immensely proud of this post that I've prepared two versions for you. That's right. TWO. Enjoy!

VERSION ONE

I get a lot of this: 'You know, you don't really look like a fitness instructor', and, most recently 'How come you are able to like what you look like [without looking perfect]?'. Here's my response:

These days, some days I'm a size 12; some days a 14 *cough* ...whatever, sometimes the 14's a bit tight IJUSTHADABABYFORFUCKSSAKE (lol, 'just', that's another post right there). That might not be what you see a fitness instructor looking like, but my size doesn't change either my own level of fitness or the knowledge that I have accrued in order to help you to get fit. I don't hate my body because I've already wasted most of my life doing that, and guess what? It didn't get me anywhere. I've been a size 28 and I've also been a very small size 8. Neither made me happy, because allowing my size to dictate my happiness was a quest for perfection that was never going to end well. Speaking to an old friend, I realised for the first time just how out of control my self-loathing used to be; how much my quest for perfection impacted on the rest of the world, and just how miserable I used to be. Now, I wake up in the morning, look in the mirror and I genuinely love what I see. Because I'm not judging myself on the value of what jiggles or sticks out; I'm grateful for my strength, I'm grateful for growing older, I'm grateful for working limbs. I'm grateful for each curve and what every stretch mark represents. I'm grateful that I am able to exercise (even if it's just a bit on my sprained ankle). I'm grateful that I can have a cheeky night out and have fun and the world won't end. I love that my friends now think they've got a better version of me because they can see how passionate I am in my work and how happy I am in myself. I spend my days helping other people to become happier with themselves and I believe that is the best use of my life, my body and my mind.  So, if you don't think I look the way I should, maybe have a think about *why* it is that you think I should look a certain way. I'm spending every day trying to be the best possible version of myself; right now that means I'm living honestly, positively, happily and trying to help others do the same. I love my body and I want my body to be fit; I want you to - at the very least -accept your body, and I want you to be fit, too. I might not look like other fitness instructors, but here's the deal: I'm not other fitness instructors ;) And I'm of the opinion, that's pretty great. 

VERSION TWO

I get a lot of this: 'You know, you don't really look like a fitness instructor', and, most recently 'How come you are able to like what you look like [without looking perfect]?'. Here's my response: 

You are an absolute fucking cockwomble if you think for one fucking moment that the shape or size of my arse is going to have an impact on SOMEONE ELSE'S fitness levels. Your narrow fucking minded idiotic twat-stance will no doubt guarantee you an epically disappointing existence which I am both hopeful, and strangely confident, will end in either being crushed in a freak salad delivery accident, or being swallowed by one of the next generation of competitive eaters. I might not look like a fitness instructor to you, but you definitely look like a judgmental fucknose to me. 

 

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Unbroken

If in doubt, let it out