Part of #fitMess is acknowledging that you have all of those other things going on with you. You're not just committed to improving yourself, but some days it can feel like you're actively having to battle with everything else in order to salvage a tiny piece of yourself. My personal list of obligations includes children and work, housework (hahahahahahah yeah right) and marketing - now, also blogging. It's different for everyone, though, and children are certainly not a prerequisite to having a difficult existence - your list of obligations may be longer or shorter, but when you're struggling, you'll sure as fuck know about it.
Last night, Charlie had a fever and invested himself in a mission of screaming, snotting and shitting as much as possible between 10pm and 3am. I had to get up for work at 5.15am. I came home at 7am to make breakfast for the world, do some cleaning (this is a lie), help with last minute homework, wash the world, brush their teeth, shout 'SHOES' 19 million times, and then will get on with the day. Most of my day currently involves chasing, shouting, wanting to cry or scream or both, worrying, and wondering if it's too late for coffee or too early for wine. Sometimes I'm tempted to write a new CV for myself with all this crap on it to remind myself that I'm actually doing something with these days that shoot by so fucking fast I don't know my arse from my elbow. I am surrounded by friends, clients and peers who are all in the same boat - not just parents - all busy people fuelled by their responsibilities and obligations, often forgetting that they are just as important as all of those other things they Have To Do.
I'm going to be totally upfront at this point. Pretty much everything I am about to say to you is rock solid, gold plated, awesome advice. You're going to nod your head, you'll feel my words speaking to you and you will be inspired to do things differently. But, then you won't. How do I know this? Because I am an enormous fucking hypocrite. I run myself down nearly every goddamn day doing all the shit I should do, all the things I feel like I have to do, leaving myself in last place. I have to actively force myself to ask for help if I'm going to make time for myself. So the following is as much a pledge for me as it is epic wisdom for you ;)
1. Ask for help. Don't push yourself to the point where everything is falling down around you first. Ask for the tiny things.
2. Schedule time for you. This includes your fitness, but it also includes your chilling out time. Neither have to be an hour of solid uninterrupted time. 10 or 15 minutes regularly and often is better than 6 hours pretending you've got the shits in the toilet on a Sunday.
3. Remember how important you are in the chain. Nobody can be, or is, in charge of keeping your shit together except for you.
4. Martyring yourself to any cause, whether it be work or home, will only result in you feeling ignored and neglected. Do not fucking bother. Sainthood is so twelfth century.
5. When you say yes to others, make sure you are not saying no to yourself. Be kind to yourself. Saying no to things is normal and it is definitely ok.
You are more important than you could possibly imagine. You cannot pour from an empty cup.