Based in Frome, somerset, #fitMess is a blog by Joanna Beale. Her posts draw on her work as a personal trainer, as well as her own personal past experience of significant obesity.  Her general focus is overall wellness and body positivity.

Whose body is it anyway?

People have been telling me lately I'm looking slimmer, more toned. They ask me how I'm 'doing it'. 'What is Your Secret' they ask with inquisitive eyes. 

Well, the truth is, guys, I'm wearing different style trousers on more days and it's probably just an optical illusion. Or it could be that as I gradually stop giving a fuck what other people think, what I project to the world changes too. So, each day, I give slightly fewer fucks how someone might judge me, I become a few bits more confident. I'm not saying *I don't care how I look*, I'm saying *your opinion on my appearance doesn't matter*. I've lost no weight, and there is the potential I've actually gained a few pounds. The reason for this is that I've very deliberately engaged in a competitive eating contest with the Ghost of Christmas Past... and I'm proud to say I'm currently fucking winning.

Haha, just kidding. There's no fluctuation right now because I know I'm actually balancing everything pretty well... and that leads to maintenance. 

So often I speak to people who 'desperately' want to slim down or whatnot, but they're not actually willing to live any differently in order to achieve it. They don't want to eat any different food, they don't want to track their intake, they don't want to eat less, or more, they don't want to exercise more/at all/harder, they don't want to make time, they don't want to spend money on a new pair of trainers... That's cool, but if you're not going to try at all, you may as well stop feeling like shit about not losing weight. Literally, boo-fucking-hoo you aren't a size 8. You haven't done any exercise in a year and you pay zero attention to what goes in your mouth. Gaze upon the field of fucks that I give, for it is barren. If you're so focused on your 'should-body' that you're not even using your NOW-body, what do you expect? 

I posted this on the Facebook page yesterday, swiped from Kayla Itsines:


It got a few likes. I think we're pretty much agreed that it isn't cool to tell someone how they should look. Even as a PT, my primary concern is not what *I* think someone should look like, but what it is that the client is hoping to achieve. You wouldn't tell someone else they should look a certain way - so, why do you we take this shit from ourselves? I SHOULD look this/that way, I SHOULD be as thin as I was when I was 16, I SHOULD have a thigh gap, I SHOULD eat salad every day... yawn yawn fucking yawn. The only thing you should look like is yourself, you twat. And, inevitably, that's going to change at a few points in your life. You don't have to suck it up, you can take action to change things - and you might need help with it. The one thing I can guarantee, though, is you're going to need to try. Whether it's getting fitter, eating better, or learning not to guilt trip yourself into gaining another 50lbs - effort is going to be involved... on most days of the year. Habits don't break themselves. Complaining won't result in action. Misery won't suddenly transform itself into motivation. Should should should is the mantra of sadness and results in yo-yo dieting, rebound weight gain and all-round boring fucking whinging all the live long day. Should-bodies are compelled by obligation and punishment; should-bodies will never be happy, regardless of their progress. Should very rarely represents something that you want. Should is something you feel twisting your arm, a voice whispering (we know it's actually a scream) in your ear. Should is a demon sent by your past. 

But that one day you allow yourself to be awesome, without judging yourself on the delivery or the outcome, is the day you begin living in your now-body; the body that can achieve anything. It means taking each day as it comes, doing as much as you are able with whatever you've got. It means not bullshitting yourself with excuses or aiming for shitty shoulds. It means embracing maintenance when it's December if that's going to keep you better on track. It means knowing what you need, to get where you're going, wherever you choose to go. It means, often, knowing that you're in it for the long haul, because the quick fix didn't actually fix shit in the end.

It's #fitMess, bitches, so a righteous high motherfucking five to you all ♡ Have a great weekend x

Terri ♡

Blamey McBlamerson