Resolutions are for twats. There, I said it. New year, new me! Shut up. If you really want to dedicate next year to your new you, do yourself a favour and fuck off with the resolution making.
Every year you resolve. Every year you do it again. When it didn't work the year before last, you basically just did exactly the same thing this year, expecting a different result. I'm not a scientist, but I'm pretty sure there's no point going round in circles waiting for a better result on the off-chance that just maybe something will change.
Here we are, on the brink of 2017. You want to make a change to your diet, your waistline, your job; hell, maybe you just want to clean your car more often or drink fewer glasses of wine. You can do any of these things, and you can use the timing of the new year add impetus, sure. But resolutionising is doomed douchebaggery. The clients I see the biggest changes in are the ones who begin in December. Why? Because they want to take a step every day they can towards change - even when that means they see obstacles ahead. They are more likely to take a consistent 'day at a time' approach, accepting that there will be bumps in the road. There is no 'clear run', people. Life gets in the motherfucking way. People who defer until a future point, whether it be January, 'the day I've finished the biscuits', or 'when I'm thinner' are setting themselves up for a fall - motivation and application will usually only gather momentum as a result of taking action. You can't magically expect January 1st to bring the desire to achieve, and I assure you, by January 6th, you sure as shit won't have accumulated marathon-running abilities. 'I'm sooooooo going to do it this yearrrrrr' actually means in resolution-speak 'I'm going to bust my ass trying to do it all in the first week and if by the end of January I'm not a supermodel then fuck it all I'm ram raiding McDonald's'.
Action is simple when it's achievable and realistic. Turning your life and routine on its head overnight is usually a recipe for disaster... or failure, at best. If you want to eat better, add one serving of vegetables to each day. Do it every day for a week. Mission accomplished. One mission down, try upping your water intake by 500ml every day. Keep the veg thing going. A week later, halve your regular biscuit intake, keep up with the water, keep up with the veg. 12 really small changes (they obviously need to be specific and relevant to you) over 12 weeks, towards a more balanced lifestyle and you'll be surprised how easy it becomes, how much less guilty you'll feel along the way, how much more achievement you will feel... and how much better your level of adherence will be. You will make progress every day, and you will feel like it, too. That's where the results lie. Consistent application. A bit of effort all the time, not earth-shattering effort for unsustainable bursts. It might sound like all of that will add up to nothing. So, why not try it? If everything else has failed in the past, there's no harm in trying. Ditch all of the radical resolutions. Make actual changes that actually change things. Start by identifying what you want and break it down good and SMALL. In 12 weeks, you'll still be making progress, you'll still be reaping the benefits and you'll still be feeling epic.
So, fuck your resolutions. Fuck them all. New year? New calendar. There's nothing wrong with the you that you're rocking. You're already awesome. You can change anything, anytime - and you will. Happy New Year ♡