Based in Frome, somerset, #fitMess is a blog by Joanna Beale. Her posts draw on her work as a personal trainer, as well as her own personal past experience of significant obesity.  Her general focus is overall wellness and body positivity.

How many times have you heard the advice to do something every day that scares you? And how often do you pledge to try?

When your comfort zone becomes less than ideal, stepping outside it is certainly less than comfortable. It's not the skydiving or the bungee jumps in life that unsettle us the most. It's the pain in our existence that we tolerate on a daily basis. It's the moments of realisation that our behaviour stifles us, or holds us back. It's the knowledge that our emotional spectrum might not be developed enough to live our most fulfilled existence. Here, this is the point where steps need to be taken, where the courage to change everything will take us to a place of different, more satisfying comfort. And, then, yes, of course, the process begins again. Take one thing you feel you just can't do, and do it without questioning it. Look at the pieces that aren't quite fitting, and just jump; be your own solution.

Full disclosure: I've never worn a two piece swimsuit until today. It fucking terrified me. Stretch marks and, now, scars, an odd belly button, and skin paler than any shade you've seen before, jiggly and wibbly... Despite consistently encouraging other women not to give a fuck, I reached the age of 39 without ever managing to do the same myself. I bought one, an awkward, multi stage process as I really didn't put enough thought into it, and then, this morning, I put it on my body. Not dangerous, not terrifying, not taking a rocket into space or running with the bulls... But fuck me if it didn't make me feel like I'd achieved something on the next fucking level. My body has done so much, felt so much, achieved such things, and been through everything I've asked of it that I can't bring myself to judge it on its imperfections anymore. Every oddness and jiggle and squish and wobble and wrinkle is just so absolutely me. The gap between saying I don't give a fuck, and actually, truly, not giving a fuck, has closed immeasurably today. Tick that box, Beale, because you deserve a goddamn trophy. 


Escape: part 2